Monday, Monday

3:17 a.m.

In the midst of hissing and burning flesh, I am rudely jarred from blissful sleep.  As two cats argue, one escapes, using my arm as a springboard off the bed.  There’s only an hour and a half more sleep before the week begins, so I drift back into dreams of manions, airplanes and lavish dinners.

Lazily, I check the clock, wondering how much more time I have to doze.

6:24 a.m.

“Oh, crap!”  I have overslept 2 hours!  In a frenzy, I am out of bed, brushing my teeth and calling my mom. I’m supposed to be in a parking lot that is 20 minutes away, handing Miranda off and heading to work.  I now have 6 minutes to get myself and Miranda ready in order to meet my mom-fifteen minutes late.

I run to Miranda’s room, wake her up, and throw a dress and socks on her bed.

“Get dressed!  We’re in a super big hurry!”

As I run back to my room, I am visualizing all my clean clothes and deciding which ones will be quickest to get to.  The first shirt I grab is too wrinkly, but the second one will do.  It’s a little big, but who cares at this point?

I’m not proud of this next part, but sometimes you gotta do what you can.  I clean my armpits with a wet towel and apply fresh deodorant.  Without brushing my hair, I pull it back into a ponytail.

6:29 a.m.

I run to the kitchen to put lunches and snacks together for us.  Well, Miranda gets a full lunch and snacks for both school and dance class afterwards.  I, on the other hand, only manage to grab a soup and yogurt.

“My socks are wrong!”  I hear Miranda yell from the living room.  I look over the bar and see she is dressed, but her socks are all crooked.

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll fix them in the car.  Go find some shoes.  Quick!”

She runs off and I finish the lunches, thankful everything was pre-made on Sunday night!

6:30 a.m.

Miranda comes back with tennis shoes.

“No, no, no!  Shoes that you can put on yourself!”

She runs back.  Good girl!

6:31 a.m.

I see one of Miranda’s slip-on shoes on the couch, but the other one is no where to be found.  I grab it, her backpack, and my lunch and run to her room.  Miranda is digging in her closet, but can’t find anything.

“That one right there!”  I see the match to the shoe in my hand and she grabs it.  “Hurry, we need to brush your teeth.”

After brushing, we head out to the car.

“I don’t have my shoes on, Mommy.”

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll fix it in the car.”  Hmmm…deja vu??

6:53 a.m.

Arriving at our meeting place, I see my mom jump out of the car and I tell Miranda to unbuckle.  By the time I get to the passenger door, she is up, with her backpack, ready to go.

“You have a brush in your car, right?”  I’m smiling as my mom is nodding, trying to hold back a laugh.

6:54 a.m.

I am now officially on my way to work.  Do you know how hard it is to hurry, without speeding, with every slow person on the face of the planet driving in front of you??  I make a quick phone call to one of my co-workers, letting her know I’ll be a couple of minutes late.  As I face rushour traffic, I’m desperately hoping I am not lying!

7:38 a.m.

Banging on the hallway door, I am thankful for an easy drive to work.  I am only 23 minutes late!  Not bad for oversleeping 2 hours!  Of course, I had to sacrifice a shower and lunch.

7:50 a.m.

I am finally calming down, realizing I don’t have to hurry anymore, I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.  Then it dawns on me…I didn’t bring any breakfast.  This is going to be a looooong day!

9:25 a.m.

I warn the paraprofessional working in my room that I skipped my shower this morning.  With a laugh and a hug, I know everything is okay!

10:22 a.m.

No breakfast…not good.  I am soooooo hungry!  I search my desk and discover some Whoppers in the back.  At this moment, I don’t even care how old they are.  There’s only 3 in the package, I debate whether or not it will make me even more hungry.  I decide to chance it.

11:51 a.m.

Finally, I get to sit down and eat my lunch!  For a moment, I was so happy.  Then I remember, all I brought was soup and a yogurt.  Even though I had bananas, peaches, and apples at home that I should have grabbed.  Is this day ever going to end?  Wait, what’s that smell?  Oh yeah, me…

3:36 p.m.

I am so proud of myself, I managed to keep my stench away from all my coworkers all day!  Now I’m on my way to pick Miranda up from dance class.  Just one more mission:  I need to avoid the parents.  I can do this!

5:12 p.m.

Home, sweet home!  Wow…what a day.  I am so proud of Miranda for quickly getting herself ready and not making a fuss.  By the way, this is the first time IN MY LIFE I have gone to work without taking a shower.  And it will NEVER happen again.  Yeah, my day started off horrible, but I was able to keep my cool and just get through it!


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