Pure Chaos

“How are you?”  A simple question, in which I typically answer, “Good, how are you?”  Today, it was much more difficult to rattle off the automated response, without bursting into tears.  In truth, I’m not okay.  I am in the midst of unbelievable, insurmountable stress.  Well, it seems that way to me!

For the past two weeks, I have been feeling the burden of so many different issues that I am completely overwhelmed.  My husband, my daughter, my mother, my finances, my job, my schedule are all contributing to the chaos that surrounds me.  I am grasping for sanity as I impatiently count the hours until Spring Break, when I can finally relax…or can I?  I am slowly realizing that my problems will not disappear once Spring Break arrives, and then I start the pity party all over again.

Yesterday, I had an epiphany.  The stress that I am feeling is not unique.  It is called…get ready for it…”LIFE.”  While I was feeling sorry for myself, I realized that the chaos of my life is normal.  Everyone has their own version of this stress.  How we deal with it determines our happiness, our peace, our sanity.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,

whenever you face trials of many kinds,

because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

Let perseverance finish its work

so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

If any of you lack wisdom, you should ask God,

who gives generously to all

without  finding fault, and it will be given to you.

But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt,

because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea,

blown and tossed by the wind.

James 1 : 2 – 6

Do I consider my problems pure joy?  No, not really.  But I am going to change the way that I am dealing with the stress.  No more pity parties.  No more feeling sorry for myself.  It’s time to lean on God, pray, meditate on scripture.  Then God can begin to change my situation.  The trials I face will make me a stronger wife, mother, daughter, friend, teacher, woman.  The chaos will never disappear, but I accept the challenge of having peace at the same time.


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